Warning. The following publications may induce intense reasoning.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Conclusions of a Life Online

As I transition into the next phase of my life, I would like to share some conclusions. Most, from my life in webcam chatrooms.

A few years back, wanting a website in my name, I thought a blog would be a good way of expressing my mind - my self. I knew it was kind of old fashioned, even back then, but saw no other way to suit my taste. I mixed up YouTube videos with my posts, my own narration, and all in all it was nice.

A few months back, as evident by my lack of posting schedule, I stopped. And instead, I'm now posting Tweets, on Twitter! Hardly the same, but the format is attractive; an easier connection to people. And it does not feel censored as much as Facebook.

My Twitter is on the right, if you are curious. Follow me.

Sometimes it's quiet, and sometimes there are lots of people.

I have moderated and run webcam chatrooms for several years, now. I have seen an endless stream of random men, of all creeds, showing unwelcome penises. I have seen a percentage, albeit much lower, of random women showing vaginas and-or breasts. Both sexes would play with them, until banning - for transgression against the website rules, which do not allow nudity.

I have met & suffered many psychopaths that would harass myself, or others, on a semi-regular basis. Spam messages, threats, information leaking, and anything imaginable that would bother a person. Luckily, I live in a non-English speaking country, where most botherers can't reach me. My attentiveness and chat-robot making skills defend me well.

Through the years, I have "hosted" many guests in my chatrooms. Some for short periods, some for long - even years, even long years. None were as steady as me, outside of my own several month vacation, of recent. Even those I had trusted further, and had the impression that they would stick around, eventually left; for a variety of reasons, from work, school, to the girlfriend getting jealous.

As a dedicated and caring person, who prefers to remain excited & positive in my daily life, I have had many disappointments. I get used to it, but it is never easy. It did, however, teach me about patience, the value of my efforts, and about people. What types of people are out there. Their motivations. How I am seen by others. And what I should expect.

All in all, a lot of great experiences, a varying level of friendships - some of whom I have met offline, and excellent lessons and growth on my part.

Friday, November 11, 2016

Vaporware Is A E S T H E T I C 4 1 1 Y Amusing

I got inspired from vaporwave memes, to make this tiny script. It is 6MB, it is clean - no virus or malware or anything. I programmed it myself, using Python, and then compiled it. CLEAN. Also, Google Drive automatically scans files for viruses under 20mb.

Trump 2016, since 1999.

Windows 95, since 1999.

Enjoy & share. 

Friday, September 30, 2016

My Foot!

Listen to this blogcast in MP3 Audio.

I just came back to Israel, from about four months of travel, vagabonding mostly, in the USA, Canada, and a bit in Western Europe. I have never been to Canada before, so I thought it a suitable destination. Maybe I would find a home there. Or company. Or interest. Anything.

I seriously love my "FeelTheWorld" Z-Trek sandals! It's almost like walking barefoot.
(Painful, for the novitiate!)

As always, I wanted to test my idea[l]s hardcore, so I went out with no sleeping bag, no tent, "FeelTheWorld" sandals with thin flexible soles, and an uncomfortable small backpack. After a couple of weeks, I spent almost every night outside. Eventually, not finding feather-down pants, I did buy a sleeping bag. Nights were cold, too often. But, I never gave up on my feet!

*sigh* Refreshing. Fishies nibbling at my legs. :3

My first days outside, walking cheerfully for endless hours, every day, taught me the difference between daily fitness walks and actual walking. My feet were sore, bleeding, slowly callusing, and quickly became unusable. I walked for a few days, then had a few days rest, in a hostel.

Eventually however, my feet did get used to days of walking. Marches. With carried weight. The calluses healed, the pain faded - or my endurance lasted longer hours, and I got tougher. The most primal, basic function of a Human, or any land-loving animal, was gained! I could walk freely, almost anywhere. [Walking long stretches on stones, like big pebbles, was too difficult and highly painful - but I am sure I will get used to it.]

Resting and cleaning, in the morning, next to a small waterfall in the valley.

Another issue I had was exposure to the elements; sun, wind, temperature, bugs, people, noise, dangers. Mostly the sun and wind, though. My body was not used to being exposed for whole days and long weeks! It gave me fatigue and irritation, sometimes bordering on distress. Again, with time I did get used to it, more so than before; although I still sought out shade and wind-blocks.

These issues, and my growing mastery of them, got me to consider roleplaying and virtual games. They do not expose us to the elements. Walking a virtual world is easy and boring. Walking the Earth is difficult and challenging, at the best of times. To walk some places is nigh impossible! Try walking through bush, a thick forest with thorny vines, or a stretch of thorns. Not to mention most places are not level. Climbing does feel!

The library's carpet, in North London, sure was agreeable! :D
Fresh city public fountains for play and chill. :3 Very proper.

So, in conclusion, at least one of the lessons I learned from this trip - do not be afraid of your environment. Get used to it. Feel comfortable in it, as much as possible. Life is not only about feeling comfortable in your own skin; it's also about feeling comfortable in your own space.

And virtual games could learn the lesson, too. Somehow.

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

End It Man

Listen to this blogcast in MP3 Audio.

It was a fair and warm day, in the afternoon hours, when the man was walking down the street. The city, small and homely, was not a buzz with people.

"Good day," another pedestrian said to the man. He nodded back at the friendly gesture. Suddenly, the fellow slapped him on the face. Not hard, not enough to concuss, but hard enough.

"Why did you do that?!" The man asked his assailant, surprised.

"Well", the other explained in a calm tone, "it is the end of the world." The man, the victim, steered his head and vision to encompass the large shape in the sky, sitting outside the atmosphere, yet very visible.

After all, it is a well known fact that a regular sized seeming object from far far away is actually vastly large, so much as to boggle the mind's grasp of perspective.

The fellow pedestrian tilted his head up and to the side, as well, seeing the meteor that was slowly but surely approaching them. Them all. Quietly, they both stared, and said nothing more.

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Technical, Not Social

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I tend to travel, endure hardship, and then forget. Not forget entirely, but forget the intensity and depth of feeling.

A classic hobo in LA. Not me, mind you. ;-)

I walked through downtown Los Angeles, confronted at evening hours with the hoards of street & tent living people - hobos. Mostly black. It is hardly the first time I have run by, or met homeless people. They are everywhere, almost, and especially in the city. Every city. But this time, it was so massive and disturbing, that I felt a dire sadness in me.

I was wondering about something terrible. Would all those people be better off in their natural home countries? West Africa, for most. Places lush with vegetation, economic poverty the norm, and filled with other people who basically look the same.

Always reflections in the city... Everywhere.

A single person, off their luck, in their hometown or city, sort of getting by... I can sympathize with that. For example, I talked to an older lady, almost sixty, who struck misfortune, lost her husband and her leg, and found herself without. Myself, I would not stay, never! Rather any place and work, than being stuck in disgrace & boredom. But I do understand.

On the other hand, when it is a whole community, several blocks in a big city, I am unable to sympathize. What the fuck is going on? A well organized group of people can make a village. Easily. Now, I know, most of them are fucked up on drugs. Distorted minds, unable to act in any meaningful way. Sadly.

But this is why I travel in discomfort! It is why I am a vagabond, and not a tourist. I want to learn from experience, I want to meet skin to skin! I sleep outside, I eat simple, and I prefer roaming by foot than by bus or bike. I want to find meaning in life through action and interaction. I want the facts and feelings.

It's a lonely thing, traveling. Even meeting people is a passing thing.

That is how I have noticed that our homes are not designed to incorporate everyone; those traveling or without, the trees and animals. The full scale of life & living observed. And this is why, I concur, there is a great sadness amongst us. I feel it. I see it in others; those who are more sympathetic and keen to be caring, rather than winning.

It is astonishing to me, how anyone can be content, even cheerful, when their own kin near them suffer this direly. It is as if everyone is obsessed with comforts; food, drink, and play. Like children, who ignore their surroundings and feel no responsibility.

In their quest for freedom, hippies seek to liberate the mind & body from the fear of lacking base needs, so as to give space to acts of kindness. But they miss on the mutual benefit, in designing permanent spaces that take care of people. Places designed not only for purpose, such as work or recreation, but for intent.

Uncomfortable. No control. That's how it feels to be without, almost constantly.

Such places would act similar to the hippie commune or the forest encampment. It is where lives are shared for the feeling of it, as opposed to the need. Where a person chooses to join and give, for its own sake. Transient places, regular in place, but designed for an ever changing community. Not charity, but community. Not religion, but feeling. A hub of life, not meant to be a safe comfort for the family, like the modern house in the modern neighborhood.

I suspect that only the right technology would allow this. The investment is too great, for any person or group to make and sustain. We need the equipment & machines that will take care of us, requiring little care back. Even today, camping gear & outfits allow any person to be comfortable outdoors for reasonable prices. Utilities, such as washrooms, taps, and transportation, and WIFI, together with cheap smartphones, let us maintain ourselves and our relationships with ease.

Music always cheers the man.

Next, would be buildings with sleeping pods (Japan) and self-cleaning washrooms (San Francisco)? Food serving machines that take in any organic waste, converting it into edible form? I find myself ever curious to take part in those questions & answers.


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