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People can tease the basic needs in others, and create a strong emotional pressure. Often, with little effort.
Underneath the intricate thinking and reasoning of the Human mind, there is an impulse-driven mechanism that demands obedience. We get tired and fall asleep, we get hungry and eat, and we get horny and lust.
|Yes, please don't tease, if you won't please.|
I have recently had two instances of girls teasing me, either to enjoy my company, or to use me for their own personal interest.
The first appeared friendly enough. I liked her vibe, and decided to send her a personal message. We started talking, sharing a bit about ourselfs. However, she would also regularly tease me, and others, saying things like, "hey baby," and, "I love you," along with other catch-phrases and cutsie poses. When I asked to get more personal, she declined, saying she is not interested in "an online relationship", or mixing that chat with her personal life.
Not surprisingly, I later learned, from noticing her behavior and asking questions, that the reasons she gave me were lies - and did not actually apply to everyone. She did indeed become more intimate with other guys from the chat. And that she has a record of guys "just falling for her, for no reason." Yeah...
The second girl was also nice enough, at first. I actually did not have much interest in her, until she asked me to see if I can find more information about her online; to see how vulnerable she is to hackers. This, being quite a task, hinted to me that she is interested in me finding her out. Like a game. So, I did, and later on I found her Skype, and we got talking.
It was soon after that she asked me another such favor, to do some employer's long online quiz, to see how her results compared to mine. I thought to myself that such a personal and tedious request could only show very personal interest in me; although I did make a deal with her, that if I did it, then she would send me a gift by post. :-D
And yet again, when I asked to clarify out relationship, she insisted that it is nothing but being friends. I pointed out her unusual requests, and she appeared surprised that I saw things that way. She apologized... only to continue teasing, making requests, and eventually lie about me to a friend, and put me in a bad light. Yeah...
A tease will display sexuality, and cause a yearning lust in potential mates. This yearning makes others become increasingly interested in the tease, wanting to make a good impression.
At this point you might think, "What's so wrong with that?", or, "Are you calling me a slut?"
A tease and a slut are two different things. A slut actually follows through on his or her teasing! A tease however, while being sexually explicit, and even friendly and intimate, will never gratify those sexual needs.
And that is why a tease is so much worse! You might hate a slut for "using" you, sexually, but you will not feel the emotional compulsion that teasing brings. A slut will be straightforward, and let you off. A tease will continue, even after clarifying that you will not be getting anything!... Anything but emotional abuse, that is.
You will continue to suffer the oppression of strong feelings and interest towards a person that does not feel the same. Often, they will not even care about you, other than as entertainment. And they do so, the tease, because it is a tool that lets them force you, manipulate you into "liking them", or rather, giving them the attention they want.
If you are reading this, realizing that you do tease others, then stop that!
It is inconsiderate to manipulate other people's feelings, if you actually want to be friends with them. Friends let their friends choose; they do not put emotional pressure - guilt, tease, shame, and so on - on them, for personal benefit. Only tease when you are actually willing to commit, and follow through sexually. Be honest.
And if you are a victim of sexual manipulation - by a tease, then get the fuck away from that person. Right now!
Sadly, there is no way to stop feeling. We are designed to feel, and respond to attractions. Even if you can withhold yourself, it takes effort, and eventually drains on your emotional reserve. It is just not worth it.
I once heard the wise phrase, "Do not play a losing game." You have nothing to gain from tolerating a tease, just as you have nothing to gain from tolerating any other form of abuse. A tease is not your friend. If they were, they would have cared and been considerate enough to avoid triggering you emotionally, on a regular basis, in a way that does not match their own intentions.
Keep your eyes open, and do not hesitate to catch a tease in action, and tell them off!